Thursday, February 11, 2016

Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson - Don't You Wanna Stay

When this song first came out, I absolutely hated it! I would cry every time I heard it, but it really had nothing to do with the song, it was the point in my life where I was at. I had finally started to reach that breaking point in a bad marriage where even though I thought I would stay until the kids were out of school, I wasn't sure anymore that I could and still survive myself.

Since then, some years and a divorce have passed. I am in a much, much better place in my life!! So much better that this song is even a ringtone on my phone!

Yes, I are thinking how could you go from hating it to having it as a ring tone. Well, let me explain.

Everything that the song talks about, the deep connection, making things last, and being together I didn't have in my marriage. I had someone who wanted to control me and make me into someone that I wasn't and who that that they knew best for everyone. After leaving, I got to like the song because it really did embody the things I wanted, that we all want in life, that we want to find with another person. So it no longer made me cry, but it still wasn't my favorite song because here I was, a single mom of three teens and preteens, dating just wasn't going to be an option I thought, I was just learning to stand on my own.

Much to my surprise someone entered my life as a friend, someone that I could really talk to and open up to. We've had our ups and downs, dealing with my fears of what my kids would think, is it too soon after the divorce, but then again it was not like we planned it to happen this way, it just sorta did. I never thought that someone that I vented to would turn into someone so connected.

This song is our ringtone for each other. The minute I hear it on the phone, a smile comes across my face, because I know that its him, I know that he is going to say something sweet and off the wall, and he will definitely catch me off guard. He is the polar opposite of my ex - in that he encourages me in everything I try to do, he always tells me I am beautiful, he thinks my kids are wonderful angels, that their teams will always win, and when they don't he is ready with a pick-me-up talk that has them cheered up in a heartbeat. I'm amazed everyday at him, and this song fits my feelings.

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